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Owwhh!! I forgot to save that CNY photo I took with my web cam! *smack head*

I'm back in the P word! And last night before leaving, I took a photo of Dou and me holding ang pow packets, it's sort of like our CNY photo but sigh, forgetful me.

But still, I want to post a photo of you!



I'm already missing you so much!

By the way, she wrote that calligraphy she's holding. Super nice writing! She's joined calligraphy competitions before. That's the ONLY ONE thing I'm proud of her. Lol, just kidding k!

. . . . . . . . . . .

This time home for CNY is definitely different. After all that happened, CNY is getting less meaningful to me. Sometimes I just hate being the youngest in the family you know. From traveling in a car full of people to only me sitting in the back seat, back to reunion dinner.

I still remember CNY used to be very joyful when I was a kid. Being a city kid, I look forward going back to grand ma's house for reunion dinner where we will stay there until like 2nd day of CNY. And normally on the reunion night, there'll be a Chinese movie on tv, and we'll all gather in the living room of the wooden house, watching, chatting and eating til midnight. CNY in kampungs are so cool! And I used to have like 6 or 7 sets of CNY clothes. *sweat*

CNY this year will be alone at home, watching tv and doing assignments. The only thing I'm looking forward to is going to Akyh's house and some already arranged outings with those I miss, love and care!

Before I'm back, lots of questions kept going through my mind. Like, how am I to make the 1-hour journey back for reunion dinner not silent, since silence might remind dad of something missing? How am I to express myself in front of auntie, uncle and cousins? If I'm cheerful they might think I'm feelingless. If I'm sad, then I have to act cause I don't like showing my sadness in front of them. Maybe I'm too aware and worried about what people think. And how am I to not look like I feel the emptiness when I do feel it? Sigh.

To some people, CNY might not be joyful and merry at all. It's the time where it reminds one of his loneliness and of the loss. Those feelings are especially strong at these kind of times.

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